paul thinks: May 2015

Waking up in the morning, with something in the pit of the stomach gnawing,

Confused and yearning, not knowing but desperately and sorely missing,

A secret, a purpose, with a vague emptiness in the background persisting.

Having travelled halfway, attempting to do one’s exhilarating best.

At academics, professionally, in matrimony, and every other test.

Taking stock of what one has done while stopping for a breath.

Glittering trophies, of great success, lying alongside miserable failures in memory’s chest.

Crammed and crowded both joy and tears peer out of every nook, cranny and cleft.

Innocent childhood, blooming youth, and events closer to the journey over the crest.

Once mighty and sources of strength, parents are today grey and bent, quite senile.

What was gleaming and white, is now half a row of crooked teeth attempting a smile.

Pondering over the march and conquests of time, as it swallows mile after mile.

Tender bundles of joy, one’s own flesh and blood, the children,

Now strapping, youth full of vigor, kicking to run on.

The mysteries of life, tempting ,lure and beckon.

The delight of gourmet and well cooked food.

Thrills of passion, companionship and the loving mood.

Wealth earned and spent on things great and good.

And yet the constant nagging thought, that that there is more,

Then what meets the eye, and what we think we exist for,

Perplexing, this feeling, yet so palpable and difficult to bear.

Not this, not this, oh yes not this!

Not that, not that, Oh yes not that!

If not this, and not that, oh god above, then what?

PSIS PUAUL(13/3/2015)

paul thinks